Things never go as planned!
As I said in the last post I don’t just do earrings,
although earrings may be what I do best! Last week was Neil’s (my husband)
birthday. Every year since we’ve been together I try to make a big deal about
his birthday. I’m big on birthdays, I guess because I can’t have a big birthday
myself. I was born two weeks after Christmas and either everyone is broke and
conveniently forgets or there’s a snow storm. Neil is from a very small family
so not much was done for him either so I took it upon myself to make up for
that. I may not throw huge parties (Neil and I are both quite shy) but I try to
get great presents and make or get a cool cake.
The first year I got a co-worker who makes cakes with her
daughter to make one for me. Neil was very pleased with that. The next year
Neil turned 57 and I got the idea to decorate the cake like a Heinz Ketchup
bottle. Unfortunately the colors came out all wrong so it was pink and not red.
Last year I was short of ideas but went into a baking shop and a nice lady
there had a brainstorming session with me and I decided to make a cake based on
the Brecon Beacons (a mountain that Neil used to go climb). Unfortunately my
sculpting skills are a bit lacking, and the temperature in the house meant that
the fondant did not dry out, so the cool tent that I made collapsed and I ended up using scraps of cake to make a tent that ended up looking not
so cool (I called it a turtle’s vagina – but actually I don’t know if they have
one). The only thing resembling reality was Neil’s boots. He even had to ask me
what it was supposed to be.
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| The plan |
I wasn’t having any of that this year. A few months ago I
decided to make a cake that represents Neil’s love of music and his lifestyle. Neil
dresses in a cross between a Mod and a Rude Boy. So I decided to make the
target Mod symbol on the top and the checkerboard Rude Boy symbol around the
edge of the cake. I figured this would be simple enough for my skillset and yet
meaningful for him.
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| Orange Buttercream |
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| Assembled naked cake |
I bought the fondant in Red, White, Blue and Black. I
bought twice as much White fondant as all the others. I also bought royal icing
for the crumb layer between the cake and fondant. I drew up my plans and wrote
them all out. I figured out the circle sizes to make from things around the
kitchen. Then went to work.
I baked two huge round cakes, I knew that one batch would
not make two layers so I made two batches of cake. I even made a yummy lemon
buttercream to go between the cake layers. While the cakes were baking I worked
the colored fondants into their designated shapes. I cut out about 40 black
squares for the checkerboard. I thought I’d figured out how to weave the black
and white strips to form the checkerboard design but it didn’t work. So instead
I decided to “glue” black squares onto white strips. Once the cake was
assembled I started decorating. When it came time to cover the cake I
discovered that despite purchasing twice as much white fondant it was not
enough to cover the cake. So instead I covered the cake in the royal icing
(which I had decided earlier not to use), the icing acts as a glue for all of
the fondant shapes. I assembled the target on the top of the cake and then realized that there wasn't enough space to write on the cake. I had planned to write on the cake "HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEIL ONE COOL DUDE!" but the target once assembled was so big that it took up the entire top of the cake. So in the end I wrote on the target.
Finally, I went to put the checkerboard around the cake the
black squares fell off of the strips they were “glued” to. So in the end I just
stuck the squares on the icing. But in order to stretch the icing and make it more workable
so I could cover the cake I thinned it with a bit of milk. Unfortunately
thinning the icing meant that it lost its stickiness so the black squares began
sliding down the side of the cake. So although I wanted to leave the cake a
surprise until Saturday (Neil’s birthday) I decided to show him the cake Friday
afternoon just in case the cake melted before his birthday.
This whole ordeal stressed me out so much I NEVER want to
work with fondant again. And I don’t even like the taste of fondant which is
why I would not get it for our wedding. The baker really tried to sell me on it
and even said that if it was hot on the day the buttercream would spoil but I
didn’t care, I hate fondant!
I don’t know what I’ll do for his birthday next year but I
guarantee there will be no fondant.
